spl, 1659 bytes

Result

AC

Duration

1099ms

Code [DL]

.
Ajax,.
Ford,.
Page,.
Puck,.
Helen,.
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Ford]
Ajax:
 Listen to your heart. You are as bad as the difference between thyself and a bad joy.
Ford:
 Listen to your heart.
[Exit Ford]
[Enter Page]
Ajax:
 You are bad fat big old red joy. You are as bad as the difference between thyself and the difference between a bad fat big hog and a bad joy.
[Exit Page]
[Enter Helen]
Ajax:
 You are as bad as the difference between a bad fat big joy and a bad lie.
[Exit Helen]
[Enter Puck]
Ajax:
 You are bad as me.
[Exit Ajax]
Scene II:
[Enter Page]
Puck:
 Speak your mind!
Page:
 You are bad as the difference between thyself and a joy. Are you worse than a joy?
Puck:
 If not, let us proceed to scene II.
[Exit Page]
[Enter Helen]
Puck:
 Speak your mind.
[Exit Helen]
Scene III:
[Enter Ajax]
Ajax:
 You are as bad as the difference between me and a bad joy.
[Exit Ajax]
[Enter Page]
Page:
 Remember me.
Puck:
 Speak your mind. You are bad fat big old red joy.
Scene IV:
Puck:
 Speak your mind!
Page:
 You are bad as the difference between thyself and a joy. Are you worse than a joy?
Puck:
 If not, let us proceed to scene IV.
Page:
 Recall. Speak your mind.
Puck:
 You are as bad as me.
[Exit Page]
[Enter Helen]
Puck:
 Speak your mind!
[Exit Helen]
[Enter Ford]
Puck:
 You are bad as the difference between thyself and a joy. Are you worse than a joy?
Ford:
 If not, let us proceed to scene III.
[Exit Ford]
Scene V:
[Enter Ajax]
Ajax:
 Speak your mind!
Puck:
 You are as the difference between thyself and a joy. Are you worse than a joy?
Ajax:
 If not, let us proceed to scene V
[Exit Ajax]
[Enter Helen]
Puck:
 Speak your mind!
[Exeunt]

stdin

49
94

stdout

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stderr

/tmp/code.c: In function 'main':
/tmp/code.c:19:1: warning: label 'act1' defined but not used [-Wunused-label]
 act1: {
 ^~~~